"I made a RAB over the COS that interviewed me for the GOOD job I need as I'm LAMP and seriously Code 35".

If that meant nothing to you then you're clearly not in the know as far as the latest text terms go.

The Post Office's Telecoms branch has just released a report looking at the new abbreviations that have apparently emerged of late ranging from new terms for the economic slowdown to devious teenagers' parent-safe code.

A RAB comes from "Ross And Brand" and means committing a massive faux pas like the duo did, while a COS comes from airline speak for a "customer of size" suggesting a large person.

A GOOD job is a "get out of debt" job, described as a risk-free role to see out the slowdown, LAMP means losing money (lost another million pounds) and Code 35 means broke and comes from the message Tube users get when their Oyster cards have insignificant funds.

Other highlights of the report include KPC - keeping parents clueless - and P999 used as a warning that parents are approaching.