It's not often that the tabloid celebrity pages turn up anything of note for our dear Pocket-lint readers but, then again, it's not often that Noel Gallagher turns his mocking vernacular to the tech world.

Usually the former Oasis chief's harsh words are saved for his musical peers (or not peers, as he normally judges), his younger brother or Gary Neville.

But his latest outburst is reserved for a device that we know you linters love - the iPhone. Talking ahead of his first London solo gigs with his new Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds project at the Q Awards, the Mancunian rocker said:

“I just want a basic 1994 Nokia mobile. I can keep it in my back pocket and just do the basics with it – phone and text. What would I need a camera on it for? iPhones are for Cockneys and ****s. And they are far too big.”

The big question is what the four asterisks are protecting our eyes from. If it's a starts with t then that's not too bad, but if Noel dropped the c-bomb when deriding fanboys then shame on him.

And if size is a big concern for Noel, let's hope nobody shows him the Samsung Galaxy Note. He'll really lose his **** then.

(You can work out our asterisks for yourself).