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(Pocket-lint) - Games aren’t like classic movies - once you’ve moved on you can rarely go back, and whoever it was that commissioned the EA Sports Plug it in and play TV Games console featuring FIFA 96 and NHL 95 basically shouldn’t have bothered.

They shouldn’t have bothered because the games are nine and 10 years old. They shouldn’t have bothered because in both instances the gameplay is poor. They shouldn’t have bothered because like the gameplay, the computer’s AI is even worse.

They shouldn’t have bothered because they weren’t that great games in the first place and (for the first few years anyway) improved with each successive version. They shouldn’t have bothered because it’s just a poor excuse to fleece even more money from you - then again this is EA we’re talking about.

They shouldn’t have bothered because the graphics are now rubbish. They shouldn’t have because the mono sound is atrociously bad compared to the 5.1 surround-sound licensed music soundtracks of the modern versions. They shouldn’t have bothered because it’s just mean to waste time like this.

In short, there isn’t a single positive element to celebrate about this console plug and play TV game. Everything is diabolical. There is a reason Electronic Arts painstakingly updates the FIFA series every year (aside from the balance sheet) - because it acknowledges that graphics, sound, gameplay and AI all move on.

They get better as the years go by, so why oh why anyone would think that we would be happy to spend and waste our money on such tedious rubbish is beyond us. Worse still, the company that makes this piece of junk even expects you to dish out for the batteries to power it.

To recap

If you want to waste £20, it would be more fun watching it burn

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Writing by Stuart Miles.