17 January 2007 11:00 GMT / By Dan Hall
DOA: Dead or Alive is a bizarrely enjoyable soft porn martial arts flick that plays out like a cross between “Charlie’s Angels” and “Enter the Dragon” and of course based on the video game of the same name.The story sees 16 of the world’s finest pugilists – comprising mainly of steroid-fuelled hulks and unfeasibly good looking chicks – invited to a remote pacific island to compete at “DOA”, the greatest martial arts contest on earth.
Among those selected are Christie (Valance), a high-kicking cat burglar with an apparent phobia of clothes; Tina (Pressly), a short-tempered wrestler who tells the boys “leave now and you’ll avoid excruciating agony”; and Bass (Nash), a 6 foot eleven and 330lbs “purveyor of pain”.
After recent videogame adaptations such as “Silent Hill” and “Stay Alive”, everyone assumed this latest effort would be, well, DOA: Dead on Arrival.
But Corey “The Transporter” Yuen’s tongue-in-cheek latest differs from these past failures by playing much of the ridiculous story for laughs.
Images of lycra-clad beasts doing one-arm hand-stand press-ups and babes in bikinis mud wrestling should keep most viewers amused, and might even draw attention away from the random sub-plot involving a bloke who used to be in Coronation Street (Marsden).
There's also a serious political message about different races living together in harmony. Ha ha, only joking, it’s really just an excuse to see the best looking women from Asia, Australasia and America sharing beds and the occasional shower.
For once, it’s a pleasant surprise to find that the only extras included are a few deleted scenes and a brief "Making Of" featurette as, to be perfectly honest, no-one really gives a damn about how the movie was conceived or how the actresses got into character for their roles. This is a soft core skin flick pure and simple, don’t expect anything more.
Verdict
Sure, some of the tacky action sequences look like a computer game but, for once, that’s ok as the director can claim to be sticking to the movie’s roots.
Even former Neighbours starlet Valance does a decent job in her big screen debut, something that her soap star predecessor Kylie Minogue couldn’t be accused of in her first high-profile big screen role … the computer game adaptation of “Street Fighter”.
Rating: 15
Staring: Jaime Pressly, Holly Valance, Sarah Carter, Natassia Malthe, Devon Aoki, Eric Roberts, Matthew Marsden, Kevin Nash
Directed by: Cory Yeun
Extras: Deleted scenes, 'Making Of' featurette
Score
Review Recap
- Price as reviewed
- £20
- The good
- Finally a semi-decent videogame adaptation, that doesn’t take itself too seriously, mud-wrestling divas … in bikinis, Holly Valance, Jaime Pressly, Sarah Carter, need we go on?
- The bad
- While spotting the bloke from Coronation Street is initially amusing, it soon becomes an annoying distraction, the plot could be written on one of the girls’ minuscule bikinis
- Quick verdict
- Tacky action sequences look like a computer game but, for once, that’s ok as the director can claim to be sticking to the movie’s roots
- Score
-
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