Crikey Moses. Look at this friendly offering from "Stunster" (tagline: Secure Your World).
It's a "cell" phone that cunningly disguises not only a 800,000 volt shock, but a 100dB high pitch tone alarm and a super bright LED torch.
The site states: "It does not function as a cell phone but that's OK - you won't need to call for help!"
Our only issue with it, and it's not the question of whether or not you should carry around a potentially lethal weapon, is why model it on such an outdated mobile?
That, and the fact that it has "Stun Master" branding across the top might give the game away...