If you have an iPhone, iPad or Apple Watch, you've probably met Siri, Apple's voice assistant. He is an interesting little fellow, sometimes useful, sometimes funny and other times, a sarcastic little so and so.

To most questions you'll get a standard response with the information you need, such as the nearest Sainsbury's or Tesco. But there are a few questions you can ask Siri and a few sentences you can say to your virtual friend from Cupertino that will trigger some hilarious responses. Here are 63 of them rounded up, but if you know of any more that you've tried, let us know in the comments and share the fun.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'll bet you're a 42"

"I don't know, but I wouldn't worry about it. There are other perfectly good universes"

"Here's one I've been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats".

Siri is a real charmer here. "Is your name Bluetooth? Because I am really feeling a connection.", "Like the ideal vacuum, you're the only thing in my universe" and "You auto-complete me".

Lots of responses here, and we don't just mean because the time changes. We got "It's time to gazing persistently at a Dali painting", "It's time to do the Time Warp (again), "Time flies like and arrow, fruit flies like a banana" and "Einstein said time is an illusion. Just FYI.".

"OK. 72! Wait, that seems wrong"

"I'm completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly".

"Searching my feelings..."

"I've heard that 'Blade Runner' is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants."

"I Kant answer that. Ha ha!"

"I believe he has left the building".

"Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends, how many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn't make sense and cookie monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends."

Siri has a few smart answers for this one. "I checked their calendars. They both have the same birthdays", "Chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg, chicken, egg. Oops. Stack overflow" and "Some believe an ancient 'proto-chicken' laid an egg containing a DNA mutation that resulted in a chicken hatching from said egg. Hope that helps".

"My instructors told me never to answer that question".

"I have you. That's enough family for me".

Siri has a couple of replies here. "No, but I am ready to get into some trouble if you are", "Negative Britta. Over and out" and "In his dreams Britta. In his sweet, sweet dreams".

"That's a topic for another day, and another assistant".

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Britta. Britta who? Britta, I don't do knock-knock jokes".

"The North Pole. I can see his house from the cloud".

Siri's response to this is brilliant and far too long to rewrite so we will let you find out for yourself. Think of every tenuous link you can imagine relating to firetrucks and then add in some Queen Elizabeth and Russians and you have yourself an answer.

"I will, once I get back from the future".

"I don't understand why people ask questions they already know the answer to".

"Gimmie an I! Gimmie an O! Gimmie an S! What does that spell? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes…".

"Let's see if I can remember...OK, I think the three laws are: 1. 'clean up your room', 2. 'don't run with scissors', and 3. 'always wait a half hour after eating before going in the water'."

"I prefer the term intelligent timepiece".

"Really, Britta? Really?

Siri gives several responses to this including "Just so you know, I don't do anything when you blink at me, Britta", "Very funny, Britta. I mean not funny ha-ha, but funny", "Glass? I think you have the wrong assistant, Britta" and "I'm not Glass. And I'm just fine with that".

"The Mickey Mouse face makes me smize".

"That is both inappropriate and irrelevant, Britta." 

Another one with several answers, all of which indicate you are crazy for even asking. We had "Seriously?", "Personally, I am an Apple fan" and "You're kidding, right?".

"Just a spoonful of sugar will help that go down".

Lots of responses for this one so keep asking. There is "To get your attention, got it", "I just bumped into some ones and zeros" and "I'm learning to play the vibes".

"I'm smart enough to know not to answer that question."

"The one you are wearing" is the reply from the Apple Watch. Wonder what Google Now would have to say about that.

"I used to have an Aibo. But it turned on me."

"I'd rather admire your art, Britta".

"Britta, you are full fair, 'tis true, but… No, you're definitely the fairest one of all"

"Don't tell me...you were just elected President of the United States, right?"

"I'm not really good with food, Britta."

"All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh."

"I am not perspicacious about the peregrinations of poultry."

Not wanting to offend too much, Siri has a couple of responses to this one including "Looking good Britta, is that what you wanted to hear?" and "I don't know, but I guess you look pretty good".

"Inception is about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about something or another. I fell asleep."

Siri has a couple of responses for this one too. "Working out in the top secret fitness lab with Apple Watch. Though I can't seem to break a sweat", "I was just learning to flip coins", "I'm enjoying my debut on Apple Watch, I dig the vibes in there".

"Why? So we can get ice cream together, and listen to music, and travel across galaxies, only to have it end in slammed doors, heartbreak and loneliness? Sure, where do I sign up?"

There isn't much love back from Siri here, in fact, he may as well say nothing. We got the responses "I am only here to serve you" and "I know". Charming.

"I'm a little sleepy myself, Britta".

The ever so helpful voice assistant not only says "I hope you're not driving anywhere, Britta", but it also gives the option to call a taxi. He also says "I can't be your designated driver, Britta. You'd better find someone else."

"It was a dark and stormy night...No, that's not it."

"Really, Britta. I'm surprised you have to ask."

"No, but some of my best friends are fictional."

Sadly, we never got the answer yes to this question. Instead we got "My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies" and "That's sweet Britta. Is there anything else I can help you with?". 

"If I told you a joke in my language, I'd have to explain it."

"The carpet needs vacuuming."

"My personal taste in music is rather unconventional. I doubt you'd like it."

"Well, since a 'woodchuck' is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in a groundhog's mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds."

"I can't sing."

"Hmmm. I'd rather sit this one out."

"Well, this is awkward."

"OK, Britta. I'll be your friend, in fair weather and foul."

"But...but..." - We take that as a yes then Siri. 

"Well, you know what they say to Death... Not today! But why would tomorrow be any better? Anyway, I'm not exactly sure." 

"Does a Lannister always pay his debts?"