One of the things we always notice when trudging trade show floors is that companies feel the need to explain what they do, or what they are showing in a three or four word slogan. However, most of them are claptrap of the highest order.
What might sound good in a marketeer's office means very little to the rest of us. And Mobile World Congress in Barcelona this year has had some of the worst bylines in living memory (apart from the laudible "surround sound for your eyes" we saw on the side of a stand at CES one year).
That's why we've collected them here for you to see. You never know, you might even have some kind of clue what they are all talking about...
1. Unleash the future
Firefox does know that by the time it has unleashed the future, it will be the past?
2. The edge of innovation
We went to the edge of innovation once, it was a long way down and we didn't like it much.
3. Unleash the future (part 2)
Firefox really wants to unleash the future, that's for sure.
4. Tomorrow never waits
It doesn't. We were stuck on the tube so were a little late and missed Tomorrow by just a couple of minutes.
5. Why wait
Qualcomm agrees with Tomorrow and questions the very concept of waiting.
6. Orchestrating a brighter world
NEC plans to move the world a few miles closer to the Sun. It'll extinguish life as we know it, but it'll be brighter at least.
7. The edge of testing technology
We didn't even visit the edge of testing technology after our trip to the edge of innovation. Not with our vertigo.
8. Everyday genius
Everyday genius = smart arse.
Isn't life already augmented enough?
10. Always with you
Now that's just scary. Especially after the restraining order.
11. Unleash the future (part 3)
Firefox really won't let it go. Unlike the future, which it is happy to unleash.
12. Moving mobile
If it wasn't moving it wouldn't be mobile now, would it?
13. Moving mobile more ways
Now that's just taking the mick.
Hang on, aren't you unleashing the future anymore?
15. Transformation through innovation
If Optimus Prime had to innovate every time he wanted to transform, the world would never get saved.
16. The future starts today
We'd better get his desk and ID card ready then.
17. Connecting you to what's next
If "what's next" is a 12v battery and a set of jump leads, we'd rather not.
18. Innovation for a better life
"Better Life" TM = What you don't already have, loser.
19. Open roads to a better connected world
Well, at least there won't be too much traffic along the way. Just try to avoid rush hour.
20. Born to dream
Wonder what a snail dreams about? Not being a snail, we'd imagine. It's like walking on a bag of Quavers at night time.
21. Explore beyond limits
What's beyond limits? The bloody edge of testing technology, that's what.
22. In search of Incredible
Where's Incredible? Oh, he nipped to the pub. Lucky begger.